The Isms Project 2.0: Addressing More Taboos Challenging American Muslim Marriages
A photography project and a documentary showcasing different -isms Muslim women face when seeking a partner
Bringing attention once again to issues plaguing the “marriage crisis”, attorney Nailah Dean, the project's creative director, reveals the second installation of her Isms Project. The main focus of this photography story are sizeism, ableism, and the stigma around divorce.
The reason behind wanting to address these specific topics centers on the fact that these issues are too often swept under the rug within the Muslim community. Talking to Muslim women in the United States between the ages of 25 and 35 who have been pursuing marriage, Dean says she noticed the same set of problems coming up time and time again.
She herself also came up against bias as an African American Muslim woman, including prospective partners or in-laws having an issue with her skin color.
However, Dean says some of the most shocking stories she heard while working on this project came from single mothers.
“Several women that were trying to get remarried and just getting a lot of pushback from men… even men that also had children and were not interested at all,” Dean said. “They didn’t want to take on the burden of someone else’s kids even though they had their own. Those are the most shocking stories because you would think that you would be able to bond more easily.”
She also says it felt like divorced women had “a big mark” working against them. It’s having to deal with such crippling prejudices that contribute to what Dean sees as a marriage crisis. She believes this is specific to American Muslims however; this project tells the story from the Muslim woman’s point of view.
“We’re trying to fix the weak points in our community in terms of the way people choose their spouses,” Dean said.
Sexism, ageism, racism and colorism were the focal points of the previous iteration of this project. The Isms Project 2.0 includes a short documentary sponsored by the Muslim dating app Salams, formerly known as Minder.
Reconciling with her own dating struggles, including being critical of the role played by dating apps, she has now come around and decided to partner with one prominent one, Salams app.
The creative director says that the reason she was so willing to partner with the dating app for this project was because of their willingness to rebrand and recognize what was previously wrong, accepting their “weaknesses and faults”. The app’s dedication to combatting discrimination combined with its reach was an additional incentive to collaborate.
“We are proud to support a project that sheds light on the social issues that impact marriage and women today,” Lina Sadeddin, Salams' director of marketing, said. “We have a significantly large platform of young Muslims seeking marriage; with this privilege, we feel obliged to bring awareness.”
The Salams App sponsored the documentary Dean and her team put together.
In the 30-minute video, there are interviews with Muslim therapists, matchmakers, and an Islamic scholar to provide context for the complexities of the issues.
“Through the Isms Project and other initiatives, we want to encourage our users to dismiss stigmas associated with divorce, disability and race; to focus on character when seeking a partner,” Sadeddin said.
Much like her previous iteration, every photograph in the collection has a deeper significance. Each detail is deliberate, from the setting to the color scheme. Everything has a purpose.
Acknowledging the struggles of Muslim women who are divorced and the ostracization from the community was depicted in the first photo. The stigma surrounding divorce was shown by having two women holding pomegranates stand out on farmland. The farmland is meant to be representative of the hard work that has to be put in to make a marriage work. The pomegranates are a symbol of the hope of finding new love and marriage again.
The second photo shows how women are constantly being judged based on their appearance. Sizeism is prejudice against a person based on their size or weight.
“It took a few years to work through the hurt, that sting that came from body shame and rejection,” A.A, the model depicting sizeism and Minnesota-based middle school teacher, said. “ When I deepened the practice of my faith and began to love myself just the way God created me, I found peace. I now know I am more than a number on a scale, I am more than just my body.”
Despite modesty being prized in regards to a woman’s appearance in Islam, women interviewed by Dean for the project recalled being shamed into conforming by their parents. Diets, unsolicited weight loss tips and body shaming. To show how hard this concept is on women, a woman holds her hands up showing off chain links made from measuring tape.
The final photo of this collection is meant to bring awareness to disabled women seeking husbands and the discrimination they encounter. Dean mentions how this issue is not just a taboo topic but a non-topic overall. Disabled people are often left out of conversations concerning most matters, including love and marriage.
The fisherman’s net in the photo is meant to represent feeling trapped not by the disability itself but by the stigma surrounding it. The otherness that follows those with disabilities is something Dean wanted to tackle when working on this portion.
“What I discovered is that this is a really good topic that we’re bringing awareness to, not just for the purpose of marriage but inclusivity in general,” Dean said.
Dean herself recently got married this year. However, she believes although she has found her happiness, there are still Muslim women out there struggling because of the aforementioned prejudices that are rampant in communities.
